The Beginnings of Faith

 

I don't have a flashy testimony or a dramatic conversion experience. For as long as I can remember I have always known the Lord. My mom and dad faithfully took me to church and lived for Jesus. I have had the privalege, thanks to Godly parents, of growing up in the faith. The first time I really remember calling out to God on my own and beginning to develop a personal relationship with Him was when I was a kid and I was in trouble.

We had a big ugly grey navy bus that my Dad bought. As kids we were facinated by "the bus" and loved to play in it..swinging from the grab bars, playing games in it and just using it for a big fort. For reasons I couldn't understand, my dad decided to forbid us from playing in that bus. Well one day as I was playing in the bus and having a great time, I looked out the window and saw my dad coming down the driveway towards me. Fear and panic flashed through me and I quickly ducked down below the windows and hoped that he hadn't seen me. There was to be no escape. My dad came straight to the bus and found me.

Now we had something in our family called the "board of education". It was a benign looking bread board. You would think it was there to chop things on or slice bread...but nooooo.....this was used to paddle behinds (for educational purposes of course). Now as I was walking up the driveway with my dad, I was trying to hold back the tears because I knew that the board of education was waiting for me. My dad was not one to forget something or to be talked out of something. I was scared to death. I knew I walked to my doom.

Just then, one of my dad's business assoicates showed up. Oh joy....a short reprieve from certain doom. He went to talk with his associate leaving me with the assurance that we would finish this later. My doom was just postponed. I sat and cried and cried and then I prayed. "God, please save me. I promised I will never ever go in that bus again without permission. Please make my dad forget! This was a very sincere pray from a scared child. No this wasn't a grand confession of sin and redemption. But it was a heartfelt pray to the Lord. It was a personal interaction with God.

Finally the business associate left and I waited with trembling for what was sure to come. Could I trust God? Would he save me? I knew I didn't deserve to be saved. I had thrown myself on God's mercey. I stayed away from the house for as long as I could but eventually I had to make an appearence. Nothing was said about the board of education or about my terrible disobedience. I made it to bedtime and nothing happened. Did my dad forget? Did he just choose to let it go? I still don't really know....but I did begin to understand that I could have faith in my God. He answered my prayer even though it was self serving and childish. And I kept my end of the bargon with the Lord. I never went in that bus again without permission.

This small grain of faith that was planted has grown over the years. I have seen that when I trust God he is faithful. God used something small to begin my personal relationship with Him. My faith became my own that day.  It wasn't just something my parents taught me. It came from my own personal experiencs with a God who answers prayer. He has always been worthy of my trust and faith. He has prepared me in advance with signs and assurances of His goodness and faithfulness for the difficult times that I would endure of losing a son and a husband. My faith has been tested and survived some very difficult times. Romans 8:28 says "All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." I trust my Lord and believe that no matter what happens it will be for His glory and my eternal good.

Happy New Year?

On the first day of two twelve the new year gave to me:   a broken heater in 20 degrees. 

On the second day of two twelve the new year gave to me: carbon monoxide poisning and a broken heater in 20 degrees.

On the third day of two twelve the new year gave to me: ?  We shall see what the 3rd brings. 



I've been telling my kids this is going to be a great year.  It has got to be better then last year right?  So what if we started out with some "adventures."

So after a wonderful Christmas week with my sister Terry in California, we flew back to Denver and drove as far as Cheyenne.  Bad winds, icy roads and some closures convinced me to hole up in Cheyenne and wait til New Year's day to finish the drive home to Casper. 

When we finally got home on Sunday afternoon our house was freezing.   The heater was broken. BRRRRR.  I called our maintenance man and he came and fixed the heater.  I was so happy to have heat.  Finally I started to warm up.  That night when I was about to go to bed (around midnight) Jacob woke up with a horrible headache...the worst he had ever had.  It was so bad I took him to the ER.  I brought Lynn with me but left Micah at home.  No need to make him stay up all night in the ER.   Apparently as we left Lynn saw micah getting some ibuprofin for a headache.  On the way out the door Lynn said she had a headache and felt sick to her stomach. I thought, " Oh no, We must have caught Terry's flu  (but worse!). I felt a little sick too as we headed to the ER. I was praying I wouldn't end up with a stomache bug cause I was getting a headache and a flutter of nausea in my tummy.   At the hospital it was packed and we waited for a long time (a couple of hours).  They were very sweet and let us wait in an empty consulting room away from the noise and brought in a matress for Jacob.  Finally we got in.  The doc came and started asking questions.  Lynn said Micah had a headache too and that she had thrown up in the ER bathroom.  Finally Jacob said that his friend Noah (who had been going to spend the night) had gone home because he wasn't feeling well.  The doc thought it was odd we all got sick at the same time and mentioned carbon monoxide.  (I love that doc).   A light bulb must have popped up over my head.  The gas heater was fixed  today!  How dumb was I to have not thought of it?

 I was really scared now for Micah and I shot up some prayers to my Lord on his behalf.  It was around 4AM now...four hours after I had left him alone so he could rest.  The ER called the fire department to go check on him and check the house for carbon monoxide.  I waited anxiously (Sorry Lord  I know I am to be anxious for nothing but I want my kids here with me!)  Finally I heard news.   Micah was sick and had thrown up but was consicous and they were bringing him in.  Yes the carbon monoxide levels in the house were very high.  We spent the rest of the night with the kids having oxygen masks on and getting blood levels checked for carbon monoxide.  Finally we were sent home at around 7:30AM.    I just thank God that He woke Jacob up with that headache and I took him in to the ER.  If it weren't for Jacob's plea that his head hurt more then it ever had, I would have laid down thinking I was getting a flue and gone to sleep.   God has a reason for us to be here today.  :)      So tonight, we camp in the living room with an electric heater  plugged into the wall (no fires aloud!).  In the morning the man comes with a new heater to replace our broken one. 

So what will the rest of the year bring?  I hope it isn't quite so eventful as the first two days.  A little adventure is all good, but some peace in between would be nice.  It's all in God's hands.  Romans 8:28 says all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes.  I am glad my three red heads are safe and that God protected us from what could have been a horrible newspaper story about a family tragically killed by carbon monoxide while they slept New Years night.  It's not our time yet.  :)

QWERTY?

I was searching the internet for Christmas ideas for my kids and ended up looking at iphones.  Ha ha...not for my kids.  I am thinking about getting myself an iphone for Christmas since I'm due for an upgrade.   Well...I guess I am not as techno savy as I thought.  I kept reading about how these high tech phones have this really high tech option called qwerty.  "What is qwerty?"  I wondered.  I looked and looked but all it would show was a regular keyboard on the touch screen.  I gazed at the keyboard wondering how do "qwerty" and keyboard go together?    Qwerty should be a little robot that says funny sayings or  a voice that comes out of your computer or phone that talks to you.  Well...as I stared at the keyboard...  Suddenly a little light bulb popped up over my head.  Duh!!!!!    For all of you who have known what qwerty means since you were two,  I'm really not dumb...really.  For those of you who have no idea what qwerty means....look at your keyboard right above the letters a,s,d,f, and g.    The letters Q,W,E,R,T,Y.  Sigh.  Ya know,  to me a keyboard is a keyboard, not a qwerty.  And maybe those high tech iphones aren't as high tech as they want you to think.  Hmmm....I still might like one for Christmas. :)

Last Family Pic with Jeff

I haven't posted anything since Jeff passed away in July. I think I have been just wanting to run away and avoid thinking and feeling about it. Death is such a sad and hard thing to deal with. We miss those who leave our physical world and head into eternity before we do. Plus I still have to admit I'm a little peturbed at him for leaving us...his wife and three kids who love him and miss him. I don't think I have seen Jacob smile like he smiled in this picture since. It really is hard on the kids without their Daddy.

This is the last family picture we had all together with Jeff. Erik, Jeff's son, is also in the picture. Too bad Westley couldn't have been there also. Jeff's parents and brother Jimmy came out to visit because of Jeff's pnuemonia and I am so glad they did. They were able to see him again before his death. It had been a rough spring for Jeff with some bouts of severe pneumonia and he was still recovering from that in this picture. He did recover enough to come to Yellowstone in July with my family and we had great time.

A Burrito with legs?

Oh, Wait....its just Lynn trying to entertain herself in the ER.

Other ways of entertaining herself included touching everything she could find and being told to settle down a billion times, climbing up on the bed with her Daddy, peeking out the curtain at the ER staff and basically driving her Mommy crazy. The ER and hospital can get down right boring after awhile. The kids do love to have me park at the top of the hospital parking garage and race me to the bottom....I take the elevator and they run down the stairs. Now they are supposed to wait until the elevator door opens but NOOOOO they just take off running while I stand and wait for the elevator...I think they get all the way down before I even get in.

So why were we at the ER and subsequently a hospital room? Jeff was very sick with a bilatera pneumonia. Stubborn man didn't want to go in but after dragging him out to the car and driving him in I was very glad I did. His oxygen level was critically low (in the 70s when it is supposed to be in the 90s). He was admitted for almost a week needing oxygen and antibiotics, discharged, and then re-admitted for almost another week. Now thank goodness he is home and seems to be doing much better.

While in the hospital, the doctors did find something rather serious going on with Jeff. Upon further review of some of his symptoms the doctors did an MRI and discovered that Jeff has a 4mm pituitary microadenoma. The pituitary regulates most of the hormones including coritsol in the adrenal glands. There is a good possibility that he will need to have surgery to remove this adenoma in the near future. Anything that has to do with the brain is kind of scary. But wouldn't it be great if this was the reason he has felt so bad for so long and they were able to fix it? Keep Jeff in your prayers as he has more tests and we determine if he will need to have surgery.

Prays for the New Year

My beautiful children Micah, Jacob and Lynn. :) December 2010.

I can not help but smile when I look at this picture. I love each one so much.

Wow, its been awhile since I posted. We are in that strange week between Christmas and New Years Day when everyone is feeling the let down from Christmas being over but you can't take down the tree until after New Years. :) So we sit around eating and making New Years resolutions. What do I want for this coming year? Besides the usual....lose weight, health, peace, joy, etc....what do I want for 2011?

I want to walk each day along side my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ this year in obedience to what ever He would ask of me. I want the same for my children. Nothing could be more wonderful then to grow even closer in my relationship with my Lord.

I pray that God would heal my husband from the chronic pain that he suffers. I pray that God would surround Jeff this year with peace and healing.
...with a new joy and love for life
with a renewed relationship with our Lord

For my children, I pray that each will grow in their relationship with Jesus this year. That they would have that tiny kernal of faith grow within their hearts and guide them each day. I pray they will become the young men and woman that God has created them to be. That they will live for His glory and honor and they will know the joy and hope that come from serving the King of Kings.

I pray for my step sons....Erik and Westley....that God would work His will in their lives. Sorry boys, but I am praying that God will work His way into your hearts and change you into the perfect and amazing young men that He wants you to be. :) God knows what each needs...May He fullful the needs of your hearts. God's blessings and love upon you.

I also pray for extended family and friends and co-workers. And for those who have lost someone they love recently. God be with each them.

I pray for Kathy Schoch...Lord walk along side her as she struggles with chemo and all the things that go along with it. Be her comfort and her strength. Be with Dave, Julee and children as they worry about her. Give them the grace and comfort to know you are with her and will not forsake her.

And I ask that God will touch all who read this post of prayers for the new year. I pray that you will be surrounded by God's presence and 2011 will truly be a new year for you...A new year walking forward in hope and faith in our Lord and Savior. Blessings upon you.

The Unthinkable

No one ever allows their mind to really think about losing a child because the thought is too horrible. I remember over the years thinking, "what if something happened to one of my kids," then I would push the thought right out of my mind because it was not thinkable...I couldn't let my mind go there. Each special person in my family is so unique and important that life just could not be the same without them. Which child would you chose to be without? How could you choose? I can't imagine life without Micah, or Jacob, or Lynnie.

Sadly I do know what life is like without Joshua. I didn't choose it. I didn't want it. Sometimes I still can't believe it. The unthinkable happened. Its not supposed to happen. It can't happen! And yet Joshua isn't here with me any more. No matter what I do or think. He is absent. Three years ago today my beautiful wonderful 10 year old son Joshua died in a swimming accident.

Somehow life keeps moving even without him here. Time keeps plodding forward. I smile again and laugh. I enjoy life. I love my living children more then I can imagine....can't imagine life without them. Pray I never have to. "You better let me go first Lord! I pray " :) (Like I have a choice in the matter). I wonder what life would be like now if Joshua were here still. What he would like to do now. If he would be at youth camp this week with Micah. We miss him every day and yet....wow....he is with our Lord. Nothing better could happen to him. Our loss is his gain.

The cool thing is that God has created each amazing and unique child to be eternal! Joshua may have died physically....but he is not snuffed out of existance. He is alive! He is forgiven. He is with my Lord right now. I will see him again and he will be perfected...exactly as God meant for him to be. The wait seems to be forever but it is just a blink in all of eternity. Thank you Lord Jesus that this separation is only temporary!