Sunday, July 20, 2008

Joshua's Heaven Date Balloon Release

Thinking deep thoughts about last year at this time.
Four lined up and looking at the place were Joshua died one year ago today.

Ready for launch! Memories all written down on the balloons.

Thank you Zena for coming today.

It means alot to me that you were willing

to come and share in remembering Joshua.

We released 11 balloons up into the air today in memory of our Joshua. I can't believe a whole year has passed since he left us here on earth and went to Heaven. We were happy that Zena came along as she was one of Joshua's best friends. I took some video of the balloons floating away but still haven't been able to upload a video onto this site. I didn't get any regular pictures of all the balloons unfortunatly. It is hard to film and let them go at the same time. :)
Thank you, everyone, who sent up special prayers and thoughts for us and Joshua today. It has been a long hard year. I still cant believe he has been gone that long. I expect him to come running in the door anytime.

One Year Ago Today

One Year Ago Today

When I awoke one year ago today

Everything seemed to be going ok

I didn't believe anything would go wrong

We were happy and our family was strong.

You were grinning and enjoying the sun

Lets go get Micah I said, We gotta run


As we climbed in the car one year ago today

Everything was doing ok

You were in a good mood, a big smile on your face

Jacob and Lynnie too

Off we went to pick up Micah

Then we could have fun for a few


We stopped at Wallmart along the way

And everything was still ok

Brand new water shoes, they were bright orange,

Graced your feet as we headed to the car


Waiting for Micah at the church one year ago today

Everything was still doing ok

You ran around having fun and wanting to play

While I chatted with fellow parents

No strong urge or thought to pray


We ate Subway one year ago today

Everything was going ok

You ordered a meatball sub just like your Dad

Nothing warned me that soon I would be so sad.


You and Micah were best buddies one year ago today

And everything sure seemed ok

You both asked "Can we go to the spillway slide to swim?"

Dad and I said yes and off you went.


How I wish I would have taken more time to say goodbye

I couldn't know that my yes meant you would die.

One year ago today my son everything was ok

Until sometime between 2 and 3 that day.


When I answered the phone a year ago today

I didn't know that every thing had forever changed

Everything was not ok!....You my boy had gone away


...Lost in the river?

No it cant be!

Joshua my son!

Come back home to me!


You are so much a part of my life

Not having you here just isn't right

Memories still fill my heart each day

Even now a whole year since you went away...


Beautiful curly hair for me to run my fingers through

Your silly voice saying..."I love you Lynnie Poo"

Funny crab walking up the stairs

Begging to go to county fairs


You liked rap on 104.7

You wanted a green mansion when you got to Heaven

Hiking and swimming, adventures and fun

Your hair getting blond in the hot summer sun


You hated turkey but loved honey baked ham

You were growing into such a tall handsome young man

Cub Scouts, singing, VBS,

teasing siblings and making a mess.


You love to travel and go on trips

most of the knees in your pants had big rips

The girls were starting to fall in love with you

You weren't quite sure what to do


So many memories and thoughts fill my heart

each moment of each day we are apart

Wait for me my son with our dear Lord

'til the day I join you and we receive our reward


I love you Joshua and miss you more then you could imagine!

Every single day since that day....

One year that you went to Heaven

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Poem - I Hurt - Unknown Author

Here is a poem I found on a grief support group. I really like it. :) I don't know who the original author is.

I said, "God I hurt."

And God said, "I know."

I said, "I cry a lot."

And God said, "That's why I gave you tears.

"I said, "Life is so hard."

And God said, "That's why I gave you loved ones.

"I said, "But my loved one died!"

And God said, "So did mine!"

I said, "It's such a great loss."

And God said, "I saw mine nailed to a cross."

I said, "But your loved one lives!"

And God said, "So does yours!"

I said, "Where is he now?"

And God said, "My son is by my side and Your son is in my arms."

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Flag Girl

What a big grin
upon this beautiful little face
All who see her have to smile
with her joyful flagish grace

Sunday, July 13, 2008

4th of July

Micah and Midna all snuggled

Jacob looking Handsome

My Flag Princess after a long day of fun and fireworks.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

4th of July is coming

What were we doing this time last year? Today, the 1st of July, Jeff came home from 3 months in the hospital. Joshua was soooo excited to have his Daddy home. Grandma Mary and Grandpa Jim were here and took a family picture of our family. (We didn't know it would be our last together with Joshua). We had a wonderful 4th of July with Jeff and Joshua both present and happy. Joshua loved to go up to the Casper Events Center for Independence Day. We laid out on the grass around 10:00 PM for the fireworks. Joshua was snuggled up in his favorite blanket. We had a wonderful day with no idea that in just 3 weeks we wouldn't have our Joshua with us any more.

This year brings sad thoughts and memories. I wish so much that Joshua were here to spread his excitement for the holiday to everyone. He would be making all sorts of plans and begging to do all sorts of interesting activities. Jeffrey may not be home with us this year for the 4th either. He is in the hospital again and we don't know for how long. How do you make a holiday special when so many are absent? What shall we do...just the 4 of us? Go to the event center and remember. Smile, give thanks to the Lord for the 4 of us and try to make new memories together. The hurt and sadness will be present. The thoughts and memories. The questions and confusions and wonderings what if. And also the hope of things to come. A peace that passes all understanding...."All things do work together for the good of those love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. It is that gazing into the future...our eternal future together with our Lord and with Joshua that brings a desire to keep on living each day for our Lord. To continue loving and caring and working and living each day without Joshua until the day he is there to greet me into eternity. The joy will be well worth every pain and hurt and trial ever experienced here on Earth.
God bless each of you this 4th of July and remember each day to live for our Lord and Savior.