Saturday, December 13, 2008

All Ready for the church Christmas Musical

Lynn and Jacob were in our church musical called, "The Christmas County Spelling Bee. " Hopefully I will be able to get some video clips online soon. :) I know I am a little mushy but they are soooo cute.
Tomorrow, will be another busy day as we head to watch Micah's concert after church. He will be performing with the Casper Children's Chorale and the Wyomings Symphony Orchestra. I will try to get some of those clips online soon with my husband's help. It has been a busy week but I love seeing the kids perfom. I have been transformed into one of those sappy moms I always used to laugh at...You know....the ones who cry at weddings and silly children's school programs. :) I am not really that sad about it. I just love my kids so much. You can't really understand it until you are a mom.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

This is where my memories will always be because this was Joshua's favorite place. He loved to go their and play in the water. Merry Christmas Joshua we love you, and miss you

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The Rest of Thanksgiving

After a nice big meal how did you spend the rest of Thanksgiving? Well I know what my kids did the rest of the evening. I have the photos to document it. :)

Micah eating turkey all the day long
what about my left overs for soups and sandwiches?
Completey all gone!

Yes, he was sneaking turkey too . :)
I think he looks a little too happy here,
Don't you?

Kicking back on the couch
staring at the TV.
What ever could they be watching?
It sure beats me.

Strange TV shows the kids watch today
they just sat on the couch eating away.
How about the princess?
Where could she be?

She was all tired out
content as could be

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Lynn's Karate Pictures

Daddy and his Tiny Tiger

I'm ready to test Daddy!

Karate class after test

I'm an orange belt now!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

What style is your Blog?

What style is your blog? If you want to find out type in your blog address at and supposedly it will analyze your writing style.

My blog style is: Artists.

Thank you Lady Bananna for the link. :)

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Christmas is Coming

Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat

Please put a penny in an old man's hat
That old song has been running through my head this morning on the Saturday before our American Thanksgiving. I have 2 sisters and a brother-in-law who have lost jobs this year and are unemployed. Times are getting hard here in the land of plenty. What have we to be thankful for this Thanksgiving?
I bet most of us still have much more then the majority of the world's population. If you are reading this, you have access to a computer. :) Hurray! I bet most of us will eat today. Hurray! I bet most of us will sleep with a roof over our heads and walls to protect us from the wind. Most of us have loved ones to visit and call and enjoy. Most of us are loved and cared about by someone. On top of all the blessings I have including my husband and 3 living children, I can look forward to meeting my Savior face to face when this word passes away. I can look forward to being reunited with my son who died at the age of 10 and my sister and my Mom. Perhaps I can even be thankful for the extra pounds I have to sustain me through any coming lean times. :) (Well that is a little harder to be thankful for. I am off to Curves to try to get rid of that)
So tell me what you are thankful for this week and then go find an old man or a someone in need and give your time and money. Help someone in more need then you as we head towards Christmas.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I hate mirrors

To say our household has been under a lot of stress would be an understatement. Its been over a year since Joshua died. The world has been a blur full of lack of motivation to do much of anything.

Stress can be helpful as a motivator but as you will notice on this highly scientific looking chart....too much stress decreases our performance significantly. It also has a tendency to cause weight gain or loss. In my case...gain. :(

So I pass my days away and can't believe its been over a year since Joshua died. Here comes the horror. My church put up a full lenth mirror in the entrance. How horrible can that be? To see your whole body with all its fat attached. Perhaps this has been the shock that will jar me back into reality.

My pants are tight and my tummy is bulging. So I finally did the horrible deed. I got on a scale.


I have gained over 30 pounds since Joshua died!

This has got to stop. I come.

Friday, November 14, 2008

A boy and his dog

A boy and his dog. :)
What can bring a smile
when his world has fallen apart
When the hurts of this world overwhelm him
When death has touched his very heart
What comfort can a boy find
when schoolwork piles high
when sadness plagues his every thought
when all he wants to do is cry
When Mom has chores for him to do
but his heart screams, "I don't care!"
I saw my brother die before me?
I dont want to even push in my chair
So up he goes to his room with the door slammed closed
mixed feelings running through his head
he feels a gentle wet nose on his face
as he lays hurting on his bed
Little stinky black pug?
with big bulging eyes
with silly snorting noises
and soft little sighs?
How can he not smile
when you snuggle against him
when you lick his nose
and you bite at his toes
Good feelings fill his heart with hope
he has a true companion and friend
His face is smiling and he can go on
thanks to the attentinons of a little black dog

Friday, November 7, 2008

What is Important?

Anger, bitterness, sorrow....victory, spite, and haughtiness. It seems that the election has left emotional divisions and downright mean hearted speech and actions throughout the country. What is so important about rubbing it in? About putting others down? Whether you believe there is no God and we need to have tolerance for all or if you believe in God with unmerited love for all, even "sinners," there should be no reason for the maligning and hurtful words towards anyone who believes differently from you. We all agree we are supposed to love one another. And yet it seems that both sides are struggling to love anyone who doesn't think like they do. Loving doesn't mean agreeing with. It doesn't mean saying it is OK. We get to vote so we can try to influence the country into what we want it to be. We get to say our mind about the ideals we hold dear. Can we not speak our truth with love and respect for each other? With a caring heart. Without lies and twisted truths? While the country is plunged into hurtful actions and speech, life continues. Babies are born and people die. Pets die. People struggle with finances and sickness. What is truly important? I was visiting my son's cross last weekend and remembered his little hamster we buried in July. Remembered releasing balloons in memory of my son who died in the creek below. What is important? Not wasting my energy hating those who voted differently...that is for sure. Truth without love in nothing but a noisy gong, a clanging cymbal. What is important to me? Each person created as a masterpiece by our Creator. My faith, my integrity, my eternal reunion with my Lord and with my son.

Even silly little Hamsters. :)

I wrote about little hammy after we buried him in July. He died a few days shy of the one year anniversary of my son Joshua's death. My son Micah took special care of the little hamster in honor of his big brother. Here are some pictures of Hammy's burial. We buried the little guy on July 20th, 2008 and released balloons in honor of Joshua exactly one year from the day we lost him from our presence here on earth.

We gently laid little Hammy in an "I can't believe its not butter" coffin on some soft tissue and added some flowers and some fox tails. I am sorry to admit that I found humor in the I can't believe its not butter container. No it really isn't butter inside. Strange the thoughts that go through one's head.

We buried Hammy next to the Joshua's cross right above the little creek Joshua died in. It is funny how much comfort that small act of a burial near Joshua's cross can bring.

Remember people are hurting and living each day the best they can. Everyday trials are made bearable by the loving caring support of friends and family. Don't forget what is important in this life. Don't forget to love each other.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

What a Difference 4 years can Make

There is something wonderful about extended family. Having the kids get to know their cousins and aunts and uncles. Living way out in Wyoming makes it hard for the kids to get to know their relatives. Four years in between visits for these cousins. What a difference four years can make. Hopefully we won't have to wait that long next time.
Two cute cousins then....

and Now...
Two more cute cousins then...

And now

And my Micah Man then...
And Now

Friday, October 17, 2008

How Would You Spend Your Vacation

Micah spent his time enjoying Aunti Terry's Chicky.

Uncle Scotty and Jacob sewed up Jacob's cape

And Jeff just enjoyed some time to sleep
What do you like to do on your time off?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

It is a Poverty

"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish"-Mother Teresa

Many feel that Mother Teresa was a saint. She spent her life helping others. She cared about all who were needy...including the unborn. She considered others equal to herself. When we look at the global issue of poverty is not equality at the heart of the issue? Is each person as deserving as me? What if they make bad choices and are lazy? I work hard for my money so am I not entitled to all of it?

I am greatly concerned about the selfishness all around me embedded into our society...our philosphy of living can be summed up something like this...My life is more important then your life. I don't care if "you" suffer as long as it doesn't affect me.

Allowing the poverty we see to continue is a matter of convenience for those who have at the cost of those who have not.

Do the unborn have rights? Or are they less deserving then hardworking useful people...

Our life view has become so warped that our wants as "women" outweigh the needs of our own children. How are we supposed to fight poverty when we each live exclusively for our own selves? Why would we concern ourselves with the needs of the poor when we have already hardened ourselves against the weakest and the neediest in society?

My words may sound brazen and offensive to many. And yet how many of us put our own wants above the needs of others every day. From the harsh example of abortion to small and selfish acts in our daily routine. I have sat on the computer (I don't think I am the only one) when my preschooler begged me to make breakfast. "Just a few more minutes, Sweety," I say as I continue typing. Those few minutes drift into an hour and my hungry child goes and finds something else to do with a rumbling tummy. When I realize how long it has been I feel horrible. I am guilty as charged with letting my wants come above the needs of others. I had the power and ability to help my child eat and yet my own selfish desire to finish what I was doing side-tracked me and I allowed my child to go hungry. I valued my want above my daughter's need.

As long as our society puts "our own" rights to have and do whatever we want above the rights and needs of others we can not begin to put a dent in poverty.

Waiting for the Trolley in San Francisico

.......trying not to look at the homeless people laying nearbye

The homeless picture is not my own...and yet it could have been. What a contrast on our trip to San Francisco...three well fed and loved children waiting for a trolley in San Francisco... not more the 50 feet away lay a number of homeless people. Crowds of people walked by and never once made eye contact with any of the cold and dirty people laying on the sidewalk. Never once offered a helping hand or a kind word. I was among the crowds and joined in by ignoring "them" too. I was disturbed by my own reaction when I got home that night and thought about it from a nice warm bed.

Can we change our foundational beliefs to value each life as equally deserving? That homeless woman lying in the streets of San Francisco on our trip last summer who looked like she was in pain... why didn't she deserve my time and energy? Why didn't I stop and ask if she was ok or if I could help her with anything? Why did I not make eye contact with her? And what did I tell my children? Those people laying in the street are homeless. They have no place to live. It is very sad. Some people are homeless but they have a shelter available if they want to go there? It isn't our responsibility? Why did I not tell them....Children we need to go offer to help these people that no one cares about. I know we are here to have fun on a trip, but they need help. Let us go offer some food and human company to them. Let us show them they are worthy of love and kindness.

There is no easy answer. The poor will always be with us. The Bible tells us if we see our brother in need and do not help then how does the love of God abide in us? I believe the most important thing each person can do is to begin to value each life as precious and unique. Each life as worthy of caring for and of reaching out a hand to. Is it more important to spend my money on my hair and lunch with coworkers then finding a worthy humanitarian ministry and giving to those who are truly in need? Can I not spend that extra "fun" money on food for the hungry? Houses for the homeless? Clothes for the unclothed? Oh I know many have made poor choices and will continue to make poor choices. For some, their poverty is due to their own addictions, laziness, mental illnesses, etc. But is their value based on how smart they are and the choices they make? Or is their value based on being a member of humanity created unique and wonderful in God's own image. Something to think about. If we all spent just one tenth of our time (2.4 hours per day) helping to be a part of the solution...Wow! How much could be done to help eradicate poverty. Time spent helping someone learn how to read so they can get a job? Time spent bringing blankets to homeless people? Baby sitting, food pantry volunteer, even praying...Who knows. Be creative. Be a part of the solution.

As long as we put our needs and wants above others, we will not be able to make a dent in the poverty around us. It must start with us as hand reaching out to another in love and hope.

Monday, October 13, 2008

What is different here?

Always smiling and cute as a button
But something is looking different today...
What could it be?
What do you say?

Can you guess? What looks different about my beautiful daughter?

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Hmmm....Isn't this supposed to be autum?

October...changing colors with falling leaves everywhere...
Harvest time with a crisp chill to the air
browns, oranges and beautiful reds
thoughts of Halloween candy filling our heads
What happened today? This doesn't seem right.
I look outside and all is bright white
Where did our autum go?
It all got covered up in snow.
If Joshua were here, he would be out trying to sled in the back yard (after a mad rush of trying to find snow suite, gloves, boots, and hat). :) He was always excited about the snow. Never mind that the snow needs to ice up before you can sled properely.
He would come in all wet and soggy ready for some hot chocolate after finding out you can't sled on soggy snow (again). Snow balls anyone? His memories are still fresh in our hearts. His excitement contagious even without his physical presence.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Best Job Ever

Can I just tell you that I love my job? I get to do ultrasound on pregnant women. Every time I see these babies...I am amazed again at how fully formed they are.

I snagged this photo from a free photo search so I don't know how far along this little one is. I would guess somewhere around 12-14 weeks. Fully formed with fingers and toes and even permanent fingerprints.

Can you guess when baby's heart start beating? I have seen a beating heart on a 1 mm baby. We can see baby's heart beating on our ultrasound as early as 5 weeks and 1-3 days of pregnancy. That is 3 weeks and 1-3 days since conception. Those little hearts are already beating when most women are just finding out they are pregnant. A week or two since they miss their period.

I find life to be amazing and wonderful. I think about my son Joshua. Fearfully and wonderful made. Known by God while he was knitted together in my womb. Each new life is a gift and a wonder. For those who have lost a baby to miscarrage or abortion... My heart goes out to you. You are still a mom or Dad to a beautiful and wonderful perfectly created child. No one can take that from you.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Pulling back

What...Oh what...Pray tell me do you see?

Can you orient your eyes to understand this picture?

Lets pull back a little bit....





Oh....Now I see....still looking strange

Lets pull back some more




They look happy...but

Are they laying down?

sitting somehow?

Lets pull back a little farther





Silly boys on our trip

One stands the other sits

The upside down head

makes for quite a trick.