What were we doing this time last year? Today, the 1st of July, Jeff came home from 3 months in the hospital. Joshua was soooo excited to have his Daddy home. Grandma Mary and Grandpa Jim were here and took a family picture of our family. (We didn't know it would be our last together with Joshua). We had a wonderful 4th of July with Jeff and Joshua both present and happy. Joshua loved to go up to the Casper Events Center for Independence Day. We laid out on the grass around 10:00 PM for the fireworks. Joshua was snuggled up in his favorite blanket. We had a wonderful day with no idea that in just 3 weeks we wouldn't have our Joshua with us any more. 
This year brings sad thoughts and memories. I wish so much that Joshua were here to spread his excitement for the holiday to everyone. He would be making all sorts of plans and begging to do all sorts of interesting activities. Jeffrey may not be home with us this year for the 4th either. He is in the hospital again and we don't know for how long. How do you make a holiday special when so many are absent? What shall we do...just the 4 of us? Go to the event center and remember. Smile, give thanks to the Lord for the 4 of us and try to make new memories together. The hurt and sadness will be present. The thoughts and memories. The questions and confusions and wonderings what if. And also the hope of things to come. A peace that passes all understanding...."All things do work together for the good of those love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. It is that gazing into the future...our eternal future together with our Lord and with Joshua that brings a desire to keep on living each day for our Lord. To continue loving and caring and working and living each day without Joshua until the day he is there to greet me into eternity. The joy will be well worth every pain and hurt and trial ever experienced here on Earth.
God bless each of you this 4th of July and remember each day to live for our Lord and Savior.
3 comments:
Oh Sally, my heart is breaking all over again, right along with yours as you daily face the absence of Joshua and now, once again, the added stress of Jeff's recurring illness!!! Because things seem to go well for awhile, I get lulled into hoping things will just keep on going better and better, but this horrid illness doesn't seem to work that way. How I wish I had answers to your constant pain and questions..... I'm so thankful that you do have a relationship with God to help carry you through the dark, dark valley. How do people manage who don't have that? I am praying that Jeff will be home soon (is he down South again?) Our prayers are with you and I'm thankful that God can reach across the miles and comfort you, giving you strength to face each new day. Love you lots, Kelly :D
Sal -I'll call you. I was wondering how it went Monday evening.
We all walked through that dark valley with you together last summer, and along with the horrible memories, I'm so glad there are some good ones ones as well to sustain you now. LOVE YOU xoxo
Sally:
I am praying for you all. God grant you peace today!
Cathy
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