Friday, August 31, 2007

Colors lost

The Earth lost all its color the day you went away
I look around and all I see are different shades of gray
If I to traveled up to space
and looked in the rear view mirror
The Earth would be as pale as the moon
Without you living here.
The forests dull, fields turning brown
All I know each day is that you're not around.
Bright orange poppies?? Amazing color you might see...
But even they look faded...
insignificant to me.
Where did the beauty go? Why can't I see it?
Why did the world fade away.
It doesn't look the same, you know
Without you here.
Everywhere I look
I see only that you are not there.
Your sparkle and luster gone from my world.
So I wait....
I can't imagine how much brighter Heaven is today
Since you took all the colors from Earth with you...
The day you went away.
Green vibrant and alive
Red full of energy
Yellow bursting with warmth and fun
Blue beautiful and endless and the sea.
All faded without you.
Now...only gray

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

OK OK I know its not Christmas but...

I love this picture from last Christmas. :)
Hi everyone. There isn't too much to update at the moment but I did get my pins out today!!! Yeahhhh! Was is Julee with me when they told me it was just like getting stitches out??? Liars!!! Ouch!! But now I am glad they are out. I will have a splint on for the next two weeks but can take it off to shower. I am still waiting to hear about the Carenet job. They said they would let me know by the end of this month. That is about it for now. The days are still hard and sad. I miss my boy every day. Life goes on just like normal for everyone but things are not normal for us. Our family has been changed forever and can never be the same again.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

curly haired Josh

Here is our last picture of Joshua. Poor Jeffrey worked for hours trying to get this picture to come in. :) Joshua was just changing and growing into a young man so quickly. I still can't believe he is not here with us any more. My brain is still unable to comprehend our loss. Jeff is going to put the pair to Joshua's ear ring in his ear on Joshua's birthday which is coming up in September. September 26 my little boy would have turned 11.

Please keep Stefanie and Joe in your prayers. They are the two friends that were with Joshua when he jumped in the water. Stefanie was very traumatized and is still very upset. Joe is not talking about it and going on as if nothing really happened. We have given them each a Bible and the poem I wrote and I am hoping some seeds will be planted for them to learn about Jesus. We also gave a Bible to Xena who has been his friend since we first moved here.

Thursday, August 23, 2007


Erik and Westley getting ready for the funeral

Getting ready for the funeral surrounded by family and friends.

Not much time for thinking and missing and grieving.

Everything is hustle and bustle. Motion and activity everywhere I look.

Alone I spend time remembering my boy.

Joshua loved this horse at cousin Judy and John's house.

Now, no more distractions. Family has gone home. Boys are in school.
Jeff is at a meeting. Just Lynn and myself right now. Thoughts turn to my boy.
I miss him so much. How can he not be here with me? I see his art on the wall. I look at the bracelet he made me (It says, "I love you Mom). I think of the fun we had just last month. I find his clothes in the laundry still. I cry almost every time I find myself alone. Thinking. To be all gone. Ended in a blink of an eye. It doesn't make sense to my brain or heart. I want him back. God knows it. I have told him so personally. Thank goodness He understands more then we do and doesn't condemn us for our grief. Today is hard. Back to school night is tonight. I will think of sitting in the 4th grade room with Joshua last year as I sit with Micah in the same room tonight. I can't spoil it for Micah. He is excited for a new year. But my heart will ache as I remember and long to be sitting in the 5th grade room with Joshua.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


So peaceful and right in the shade from a little maple tree. Poor Josh would have been bored if he had to come visit for long. He wasn't a rest in peace kind of guy. We think his tombstone will say, "On to his greatest adventure" because he really loved excitement and adventure. What could be a greater adventure then Heaven?

We just got this temporary marker in yesterday. Hoffman Memorials gave us this engraved stone for free while we wait for his headstone. Looking at the dates makes me sad. Almost 11 years. His birthday comes up next month and I know it will be a hard day to get through without the guest of honor.

Monday, August 20, 2007


Four of us girls
Not quite the same
Each with our own special traits.

Can you tell we are sisters?
Just by our looks
with our God given DNA?

Raised with love
by our mother so dear
Our mannerisms, many alike

Traditions and customs
feel safe and secure
When your own dear family is nearbye.

And I couldn't leave out my dear brother Scott who worked so hard to help us get organized and answer phones for us in the days following Joshua's death. He is the one in the red cap. Thank you Scotty. We love you.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Comforting Words

I have read many verses over these sad days looking for comfort and understanding. I can't say I understand what has happened or why. I only know that God understands what my limited human heart can not. All things do work together for the good of those who believe. The following scripture has been very comforting to me.

1 Thessalonians 4: 13-17 From the NIrV Bible

Brothers and sisters, we want you to know what happens to those who die. We don't want you to be sad, as other people are. They don't have any hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again. When he returns, many who believe in him will have died already. We believe that God will bring them back with Jesus. That agrees with what the Lord has said. When the Lord comes, many of us will still be alive. We tell you that we will certainly not go up before those who have died. The Lord himself will come down from heaven. We will hear a loud command. We will hear the voice of the leader of the angels. We will hear a blast from God's trumpet. Many who believe in Christ will have died already. They will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them. We will be taken up in the clouds. We will meet the Lord in the air. And we will be with him forever.

Also check our 2 Corinthians 5

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Joshua Leigh Heyer

2006-2007 school pictures (4th grade)
He said he was in 5th grade as soon as summer started.

We love you Joshua. Not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here with me. Every place I go brings a longing for you to be with us on our outing. Every place I look brings thoughts of you... your hopes, dreams,ambitions and memories of the past. Looking through your school papers makes me cry. You were a good writer. Grandma Lynn would have been proud...IS proud...I guess she is telling you that right now in eternity. Here are two of the poems you wrote for school...

Name Poem
Jump roping is one of my favorite things to do.
Oldest child in the family
Spaghetti is one of my favorite foods.
Hazel is the color of my eyes.
Unique describes that there is only one of me.
Active is what I like to be.

Things I like to Do
Ride my bike in the evening.
Play basketball before the sun goes down.
Ride my scooter to school and back.
Play on the swings at recess time.
Hike behind my house in the prairie after school and on the weekends.
Play my video game Zelda before dinner
Read the science fiction books Goosebumps before I go to bed.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Joshua's Casket with flowers

This picture of Joshua's casket was sent by my dad and his wife, Bev. :) The flowers were from my dear dear Aunt Dale and Uncle Richard who drove out all the way from San Jaun Island, Washington, to be at Joshua's funeral and my dear sister Kelly. I love you Dale and Richard and I am sooo glad you came. It really meant a lot to our family. And Kelly, you know I love you and your family more then words can say. Thank you.

Dale and Richard

Dale and Kelly

Thursday, August 16, 2007


Squishy little black pug
just look at that funny mug
big bulging dark eyes
makes funny sounding sighs

Joshua loved this little pug. He named her Midna after his favorite game Zelda Twilight Princess which Midna later chewed to bits. She was a very naughty dog that day and got in lots of trouble. Josh eventually forgave her. She will be one in Septemember.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

"Guilty" written by Joshua's mom after he died at this spillway in Casper, Wyoming


It's my fault he died

I let him go

if only I had known

I would have said no


I'm the one who mentioned a dare

It's my fault he's gone

It just isn't fair


I should have saved him

jumped right in after

I just wasn't brave enough

to fight off disaster

Where oh Lord does the fault lie

Why oh why did Joshua die?

Which of us is guilty

Who takes the blame

someone must be responsible

for the horrible pain

"My children, None of you

not parent nor friend

can take the blame

for this boy's earthly end

Joshua's tasks

here on earth were complete

I called him home

to spend eternity with me

Oh my child don't you see?

There is no better place

for Joshua to be

I know you will miss him;

he was a part of your life

But his rewards in Heaven

could no longer be denied

Now Joshua is happy and free

He is bouncing and jumping for joy

here with Me

Do not cry for Josh-there is no need

but look to yourselves and assess your own needs

Do you know me child?? I am Jesus the Lord

I am your creator, I am the Word

I am calling for you right now don't you see?

-to learn and discover more about me

Joshua's life has planted the seed

for you to be born again unto me

Admit you can't do it.

You can't get Life right

mistake after mistake...

sin holds you tight

Then look to Me just like Joshua did

and believe I am God's son

make the choice to put me first as your Lord

I promise I am the one

Your sins will be forgiven

your life will be just right

for the tasks that I will give you

You will be able to fight the good fight

And when your tasks are complete

I will call you home to Me

And Joshua will be there too

to enjoy your company"

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Last Family Picture Together

Josh is on the bottom right. So handsome with his curly brown hair. He was already attracting too much attention from the girls.
From top left: Jeff is holding our little girl, Lynn (4) , Sally and then Jacob (7).
From bottom left: Erik (18), holding puppy Midna, then Micah (9) and Joshua (10).

Monday, August 13, 2007

Still in shock

Jeff's mom and dad with Jeff's son Erik looking at the spillway where Joshua went to be with the Lord. Joshua loved this place. He spent many happy hours sliding and swimming.


This is the cross we put up at the little spillway where Joshua died. Grandpa Jim made the cross and Jeff and his parents decorated it. Most of the family went out to the spillway to place the cross and remember our little boy. We will always remember our Joshua.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Saying Goodbye

3 wonderful children saying goodbye to their brother Joshua.


Welcome to Heyer Haven. This blog has been created by Jeffrey Heyer to honor our son Joshua who died July 20, 2007 at the tender age of 10. We also will be writing about each of our family members and our current activities.